Managing the 'what ifs'

Sometimes it can feel like you're gaining some control by preparing yourself for any scenario. It may even feel like you're problem solving. But getting stuck in a cycle of over-thinking can actually make it harder to think straight and find solutions, instead making you feel anxious and overwhelmed. Thinking in this way can put your brain in a constant state of alert, making it hard to rest and digest (see my recent blog about the brain and your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems).

You can change this cycle of over-thinking - try these tips to help manage the 'what ifs'...

Reality check

Look for evidence of what has happened in the past and what's going on around you right now.

Has the worst-case scenario happened before? If so, remind yourself you came out the other side of it and that you are ok right now in this moment.

Consider alternatives

'What if' thinking tends to focus on negative outcomes. How likely is it that the worst-case scenario will actually happen? Balance this out by considering what an alternative, more positive outcome might look like. And think about a scenario that sits in the middle of worst and best case scenarios.

Notice your thoughts

Often, what we are most worried about happening isn’t based on a previous experience, but more the sense that something will go wrong. A sense that we need to be on alert in case the worst happens. This is when multiple scenarios can run through our mind - they may be based around a specific situation or they may be a bunch of random thoughts. Take a moment to acknowledge that this is what's happening. Name them as 'what ifs' and allow the thoughts to pass.

Meditate

Meditation can help calm over-thinking by engaging your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest).

Try this visualisation exercise: Imagine you are sat by a stream. You notice there are leaves on the surface of the water - they pass by you as the water flows down the stream. As a thought pops into your head, gently remove it and place it on to a leaf. Allow the leaf to float away down the stream. In between thoughts, focus on what the stream looks like, what it sounds like, what the water feels like, etc. And continue to place your thoughts on to leaves and allow them to float away.

Think about what helps you feel calm when things don't go to plan

Ideally, think about this at a time when you feel relatively calm. Practice techniques or put things in place that help you feel reassured. You may want to keep a list of them for quick reference in the event you feel the anxiety building in the future.

You can read my last blog for tips to help engage your parasympathetic nervous system.

Talk about it

If you're constantly overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts, counselling can give you a non-judgemental space to explore how they're making you feel. If you've experienced a worst-case scenario in the past, counselling can help you to process what happened and how it's affecting you in the present. It can help you to notice when thoughts are spiralling and work alongside the above techniques to help manage them.

If you'd like to talk about how counselling could help you, book a free consultation call.